It's almost time to pick a fight.
The BDS may not be the sharpest bottle in the cooler, but we're fairly certain Kansas City has Internet access. That's why we're somewhat concerned by the errie stillness streaming out of the 913 and 816 area codes. Your silence is deafening. No smart-ass comments. No two-bit refences to bald spots, back braces or asthmar. Nothing. It's as if everyone up there decided to keep the wife from screaming by staying home.
Yeah, we said it.
Listen, we know priorities change. Responsibilities grow. Days and nights blur into one never-ending scene filled with smelly diapers, demanding bosses, flat beer, long weeks and short weekends. So do yourself a favor. Step back from the grind if only for a few minutes a day and jump into the virtual circle jerk that is the BDSlog. It'll put a spring in your step and song in your heart.
And if you don't? You will be tried, convicted and sentenced in this virtual court of public apathy. For the record, we are not above naming names, telling stories and pointing fingers at your expense. We will begin poking you with sticks until you discover what that thing in front of your computer monitor is used for. You know, that flat thing right there; right there, jackoff, with all those letters and numbers on it. Think we're bluffing? Continue to remain silent and enjoy the fireworks we light in your honor.
Yes, we understand most of you are busy right now finding places in your suitcases to smuggle alcohol into Hawaii this weekend for the upcoming wedding at Magnum PI's house. We also have respect for holy rituals, know your time is limited and your fuse for public abuse is probably rather short at the moment. That's why we won't throw the first punch for a few weeks. We've elected to give you time; time to celebrate with the newlyweds and take plenty of pictures of the topless Europeans sure to line your beaches.
But consider yourself warned. Give us a sign you're alive or it'll be the fight scene from The Outsiders all over again.
Cry "Havoc!" and let slip the dogs of war, boys.
posted by TheBDS at 3:37 PM
2 Comments:
I beleive if you can't run with the big dogs, get off the porch. Thanks for the strong but gentle words. See you in OKC in March.
Kinder and gentler BDS? Come on, Case. The above post didn't even brush them back off the plate, let alone actually aim for the head. When you see me donning the Braveheart-Blue face paint, you'll know it's about to get ugly.
And I like the term "recertification" party. Just like First-Aid and CRP training, your BDS membership card may expire if you don't update your "training" every year.
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