Think NASCAR with a trolling motor.
The B.A.S.S. Federation's Elite 50 fishing tournament was held last weekend on Lake Lewisville north of Dallas. Known more for its party coves than fishing ones, this urban nooky lake had four boating fatalities and over 20 drownings alone last year. Hell, during the summer months you'd think the lake water was actually silicone; the number of fake Texas boobs floating out by the marinas, in the coves and even in the main channels would convince you of that. That's why no one who knows anything about fishing, including the pros, thought much of the fishing at Lewisville.
Until Kevin Van Dam's line went tight and he dragged the biggest fish of his life into his boat.
It officially scored 11 lbs. 13 ounces. Once it's certified by Texas Parks and Wildlife (which may have already happened), it'll be the biggest largemouth ever caught on the lake and in the top three of biggest bass caught during a B.A.S.S. tournament ever. You can see the fish up close and personal this upcoming Saturday morning on ESPN 2 when they televise last weekend's action. And if you can get past the goofball smirk KVD has on his face in the picture and look at the fish, you'll see you could easily cram a six pack of Schlitz down its throat.
The tournament last weekend drew over 10,000 spectators and fans. That's right. Ten thousand fans were there to witness the daily weigh-ins, shop vendor booths, fish with their kids in the kiddie pond and meet the pros. And it was all free, including parking. If pro basketball was this fan-friendly, maybe people would watch the playoffs and actually give a rat's ass about their league. Yeah, you can argue watching a fishing tournament could be the single biggest waste of time in the history of time wasting, but then we'd remind you 19 million tuned in to watch (and vote) in the finals of Fox's American Idol, so don't give us any lip.
And no, we didn't bond with our fellow rednecks at Lewisville last weekend. We were too busy fishing Grapevine.
Until Kevin Van Dam's line went tight and he dragged the biggest fish of his life into his boat.
It officially scored 11 lbs. 13 ounces. Once it's certified by Texas Parks and Wildlife (which may have already happened), it'll be the biggest largemouth ever caught on the lake and in the top three of biggest bass caught during a B.A.S.S. tournament ever. You can see the fish up close and personal this upcoming Saturday morning on ESPN 2 when they televise last weekend's action. And if you can get past the goofball smirk KVD has on his face in the picture and look at the fish, you'll see you could easily cram a six pack of Schlitz down its throat.
The tournament last weekend drew over 10,000 spectators and fans. That's right. Ten thousand fans were there to witness the daily weigh-ins, shop vendor booths, fish with their kids in the kiddie pond and meet the pros. And it was all free, including parking. If pro basketball was this fan-friendly, maybe people would watch the playoffs and actually give a rat's ass about their league. Yeah, you can argue watching a fishing tournament could be the single biggest waste of time in the history of time wasting, but then we'd remind you 19 million tuned in to watch (and vote) in the finals of Fox's American Idol, so don't give us any lip.
And no, we didn't bond with our fellow rednecks at Lewisville last weekend. We were too busy fishing Grapevine.
posted by TheBDS at 9:00 AM
5 Comments:
I fail to see the element of competition in bass fishing (being completely ignorant of the sport, you understand). Isn't that shit just luck??
I mean, I know they got more technology than a bobber, but come on.
That said, I wouldn't turn down fried croppie from Grand Lake, OK. Or trout from Grand Lake, CO, for that matter. Last weekend when I made friends with the fishermen at the Lariat up there, I suppose I ought to've mentioned that I had a goodly stock of beer, if they had a goodly stock of fish...
Let me see if I got this straight.
We have Sex, who prides herself (rightly so, by the way) on earning 'Nawlin beads "the right way". There's Craig, who is one proof of purchase for a case of 10W30 away from his free NASCAR tattoo and Calvin-pissing-on-Osama truck decal. And then we have Jeff. The guy who, on his way back up to KU, turned around in Emporia and drove 1.5 hours back to Wichita BECAUSE HE LEFT HIS FANTASY BASEBALL NOTEBOOK AT HOME.
Make fun of my love for triple-nipple grub lures and those who throw them if you must, but a little trailer park redneck or SportsCenter ticker dork lives in each of us. Including you.
Hey! I said I like croppie!
You know, as long as I don't have to watch it die first.
So it was fantasy football. Worse yet.
In terms of tix, I talked to a senior sales rep for the American Airlines Center yesterday. Big XII suites have jumped up to $28,000 for a 22-person suite. It requires a 50% deposit with the remaining 50% due in February. Think we could get $14,000 now and another 14 grand later? I don't, but we could throw it out there.
And I'm not sure if it's been announced yet, but March Madness is also coming back to Dallas in 2006. The AAC is hosting one of the regionals to see who advances to the Sweet 16. A 22-person suite for that tournament is $20,000. Same thing here; $10,0000 down and $10,000 due a few months before. A scalped ticket and warm beer in the parking lot seems a little cheaper to me. Not that I wouldn't love to do it, but finding 22 people to fork over a grand apiece might be a little difficult for either one.
And it was his tail, jackoff.
not that it's my place to say, but I'd go to Vegas, boys, where the drinks are free and the women aren't.
but then, neither are any of y'all.
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