Red States. Blue States. Try United States.
The numbers are mind-numbing. Hundreds, if not thousands, dead. Almost a million displaced. Over a million without power. Roughly 175 miles of coastline gone And along with hopes and dreams and lives, that bitch Katrina also took with her any semblance of civility and replaced it with the primal rules governing survival.
The hurricane has done what terrorists couldn't. It destroyed an entire American city and damaged a whole region of the country. And it's only going to get worse.
A nation with refugees
This isn't Kosovo. This isn't Niger. It's not the Gaza Strip, Somalia or Allen Fieldhouse 36 hours before a basketball game. But we have hundreds of thousands sleeping on blankets or cots (if they're lucky) in shelters across the south. The Houston Astrodome? Their little neon "no vacancy" sign is blinking in the front window, so buses are shipping our brothers and sisters to San Antonio, Austin and Dallas. Our own Reunion Arena, once the site of Tatu running around shirtless after slipped a corner shot past Mike Dowler, is now filling with people who have nothing but the shirt on their back.
We have received first-hand accounts from Looozianna beer drinkers in our office that the population of Baton Rouge has doubled in size over the past 48 hours. Those same fellow foamheads also report a major corporation, based in New Orleans, purchased 60 homes in a new Baton Rouge subdivision just yesterday (the real estate agent's son works down the hall). The plan is to relocated employees affected by the storm and move the entire operation to Baton Rouge on a permanent basis. The entire city is without gas.
In New Orleans, looters have taken to home invasions. No longer are they swiping food, water and other necessities to make it through the night. They're now prowling through upscale neighborhoods and breaking into homes still standing looking to take anything not nailed (or blown) down. First-hand reports online literally describe gunfights between homeowner and home-taker. But from the stories reported on the major cable outlets, you'd think only those at the Convention Center and Superdome are the ones in trouble.
Forget weeks or months. This one will be felt for a least a year if not longer. A quick visit to the BDS crystal ball reveals how:
1. Gas will peak around $3.75/gallon by the end of September before Congress passes emergency legislation freezing gas prices. Some Republicans will scream the market, not the government, should set prices. Autotrader.com will report having one million used SUVs for sale.
2. President Bush will announce the release of additional barrels from the nation's strategic oil reserve, hoping to calm investor reaction and consumer fear. What few realize is that we have plenty of oil in this country and not enough ways to refine it.
3. Unemployment will skyrocket to 20% in the south. Many in the middle class will suddenly find themselves as the working class, and the working class will find themselves being the lower class. At this very moment, Texas alone has almost 75,000 refugees who very soon will be looking for a job. Talk about flooding the market...
4. Martial law will blanket New Orleans until Thanksgiving. Anyone caught breaking curfew will be detained. Anyone caught looting will be shot at (if not shot altogether). Order will be restored at the expense of civil liberties.
5. Congressional investigations will be held before Christmas, looking to place blame and point fingers why aid wasn't sent sooner. The Director of FEMA will "retire" by year's end and the Office of Homeland Security will be 0-1.
6. The war on terrorism will lose steam with the American public. They'll begin to ask why we should continue to help fledgling democracies in the middle east rebuild their country when the primary rebuilding efforts should be done within our own zip codes. Democrats will yell louder, Independants will question more and even many Republicans will begin to wonder which Gulf the current administration cares about more.
7. School districts in Dallas and Houston, already strained, will be stressed even more from the weight of tens of thousands of new students. Federal grants will be sent to ease the burden.
8. Mardi Gras will be postponed until 2007, although several BDSers won't get the news until they're standing in ankle-deep water outside of Pat O'Briens wondering where all the boobs and beads are.
Watch the game tape and learn something
So what can we learn from watching the disaster unfold from the comfort of your beer coozy?
1. The Boy Scouts were right.
Listen to your government when they urge you to be prepared for the unexpected. Keeping a few supplies on hand (including a generator to keep the beer fridge cold) isn't being paranoid. It's being smart.
2. Stash away some cash.
The few gas stations and grocery stores that opened up after the rains left didn't take checks or credit cards. Cash was the only accepted form of payment. If you don't have a few extra bills folded up in your wallet hidden behind the picture of the kids or stashed under the old soccer shoes in the closet, think again.
3. Have a plan.
A forced evacuation of your town has just been announced. Gridlock is tying up two of the three major highways out of the city. Where are you going to go and, more importantly, how are you going to get there?
4. Avoid the shelters.
To see why, turn on your TV.
5. Rely on your friends.
In time of need, lean on them. The good ones understand that's why you keep them around
The hurricane has done what terrorists couldn't. It destroyed an entire American city and damaged a whole region of the country. And it's only going to get worse.
A nation with refugees
This isn't Kosovo. This isn't Niger. It's not the Gaza Strip, Somalia or Allen Fieldhouse 36 hours before a basketball game. But we have hundreds of thousands sleeping on blankets or cots (if they're lucky) in shelters across the south. The Houston Astrodome? Their little neon "no vacancy" sign is blinking in the front window, so buses are shipping our brothers and sisters to San Antonio, Austin and Dallas. Our own Reunion Arena, once the site of Tatu running around shirtless after slipped a corner shot past Mike Dowler, is now filling with people who have nothing but the shirt on their back.
We have received first-hand accounts from Looozianna beer drinkers in our office that the population of Baton Rouge has doubled in size over the past 48 hours. Those same fellow foamheads also report a major corporation, based in New Orleans, purchased 60 homes in a new Baton Rouge subdivision just yesterday (the real estate agent's son works down the hall). The plan is to relocated employees affected by the storm and move the entire operation to Baton Rouge on a permanent basis. The entire city is without gas.
In New Orleans, looters have taken to home invasions. No longer are they swiping food, water and other necessities to make it through the night. They're now prowling through upscale neighborhoods and breaking into homes still standing looking to take anything not nailed (or blown) down. First-hand reports online literally describe gunfights between homeowner and home-taker. But from the stories reported on the major cable outlets, you'd think only those at the Convention Center and Superdome are the ones in trouble.
Forget weeks or months. This one will be felt for a least a year if not longer. A quick visit to the BDS crystal ball reveals how:
1. Gas will peak around $3.75/gallon by the end of September before Congress passes emergency legislation freezing gas prices. Some Republicans will scream the market, not the government, should set prices. Autotrader.com will report having one million used SUVs for sale.
2. President Bush will announce the release of additional barrels from the nation's strategic oil reserve, hoping to calm investor reaction and consumer fear. What few realize is that we have plenty of oil in this country and not enough ways to refine it.
3. Unemployment will skyrocket to 20% in the south. Many in the middle class will suddenly find themselves as the working class, and the working class will find themselves being the lower class. At this very moment, Texas alone has almost 75,000 refugees who very soon will be looking for a job. Talk about flooding the market...
4. Martial law will blanket New Orleans until Thanksgiving. Anyone caught breaking curfew will be detained. Anyone caught looting will be shot at (if not shot altogether). Order will be restored at the expense of civil liberties.
5. Congressional investigations will be held before Christmas, looking to place blame and point fingers why aid wasn't sent sooner. The Director of FEMA will "retire" by year's end and the Office of Homeland Security will be 0-1.
6. The war on terrorism will lose steam with the American public. They'll begin to ask why we should continue to help fledgling democracies in the middle east rebuild their country when the primary rebuilding efforts should be done within our own zip codes. Democrats will yell louder, Independants will question more and even many Republicans will begin to wonder which Gulf the current administration cares about more.
7. School districts in Dallas and Houston, already strained, will be stressed even more from the weight of tens of thousands of new students. Federal grants will be sent to ease the burden.
8. Mardi Gras will be postponed until 2007, although several BDSers won't get the news until they're standing in ankle-deep water outside of Pat O'Briens wondering where all the boobs and beads are.
Watch the game tape and learn something
So what can we learn from watching the disaster unfold from the comfort of your beer coozy?
1. The Boy Scouts were right.
Listen to your government when they urge you to be prepared for the unexpected. Keeping a few supplies on hand (including a generator to keep the beer fridge cold) isn't being paranoid. It's being smart.
2. Stash away some cash.
The few gas stations and grocery stores that opened up after the rains left didn't take checks or credit cards. Cash was the only accepted form of payment. If you don't have a few extra bills folded up in your wallet hidden behind the picture of the kids or stashed under the old soccer shoes in the closet, think again.
3. Have a plan.
A forced evacuation of your town has just been announced. Gridlock is tying up two of the three major highways out of the city. Where are you going to go and, more importantly, how are you going to get there?
4. Avoid the shelters.
To see why, turn on your TV.
5. Rely on your friends.
In time of need, lean on them. The good ones understand that's why you keep them around
posted by TheBDS at 2:15 PM
2 Comments:
I bet your predictions are right on.
I can barely stand to turn on the tv because of the footage. I was in New Orleans in May, and it's so difficult to imagine it devestated, not to mention all the other little towns lost along the coast.
"I think the most frightening part of it all is that we see ourselves in those pictures. We are all one day away from mere survival; one horrific, windy, wet day away from utter devestation, just like we are separated by a blink of time and fate from a life revolving around a rabid, tormented struggle to survive. It could be you sitting up on a roof, near death in the brutal heat, or me who grabbed the 9mm and an extra clip from our safe.
I can't help but wonder, once reduced to our beastial, feral instincts, can we rise again? Will New Orleans rise again?"
That, my friends, is a writer's perspective on the situation. And if you don't know where it came from, you owe Sex a beer.
Well said, sister.
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